5 Ways Parents Can Meaningfully Support the College Essay Process

1. Give Them Experiences

   
   

Applicants need something to write about. They have to do the “input” work—gathering information about what lights them up, what they are curious about, what they value, and what they’ve learned. This could involve a summer job, a trip, an educational program, or a volunteer experience. It doesn’t have to be costly; experiences can come from reading something powerful, engaging in a family ritual, or a conversation that shift their perspective. Your job isn’t to engineer a “perfect” experience, but to encourage them to pay attention to the ones they are already having.

2. Encourage Them to Keep a Journal

   
   

Writing is about noticing and putting our attention on something. Encouraging your child to spend some time writing down ideas, observations, or reflections. It doesn’t need to be rigid, consistent, or formal. Help them think of this as a low-stakes “data collection” process. They could jot down funny customer interactions at a summer job, a recurring challenge they helped a peer solve, or a snippet of an interesting conversation. These small entries sharpen their eye for detail, which is exactly the kind of material that will make their eventual college essay vivid, specific, and distinctly theirs.

3. The Essay Matters

   
   

Admissions is a holistic process, meaning a student’s acceptance rarely hinges on the essay alone. However, a compelling essay is often the deciding factor when applicants have similar academic profiles. Crucially, it is also the one component your child still fully controls; by the time they apply, their grades, test scores, and activities are already set. The essay is their opportunity to speak directly to admissions staff and help them envision the student as a contributing member of their campus community. Beyond the admissions outcome, encourage your child to view this as a moment of ownership. Many students look back on their essay with pride, viewing it as a bridge between the hard work they’ve done and the person they are becoming.

4. Polished, Not Perfect

There is no perfect formula for an essay, but there is a reliable process: draft, get feedback, and revise. As Steve Gardner says, “the personal statement is not a one-draft exercise.” Emphasize that revising isn’t just about fixing typos; it’s about sharpening your ideas over time. This will help them build the writing skills they’ll need in college. It’s also important to steer them away from AI tools. Not only is using AI an ethical violation according to the Common App, but it also creates a generic tone that admissions officers can easily spot. Remind them: the goal is a thoughtful, revised essay, not an artificial “error-free” one.

5. Lean on Support

   
   

Applying to college is a major milestone, but for many families, it can also be period of extended uncertainty and pressure. The essays, in particular, often become a source of tension: students are asked to write with vulnerability and maturity, while parents can be torn between editing, task managing, and cheerleading. Ease some of the friction by leaning on your existing support networks, whether that’s a trusted friend who has navigated the process, a guidance counselor, a college-readiness nonprofit, or a coach. It’s important for your child to know you’re there to support them through the process, but neither of you has to shoulder this burden alone.

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I’m offering a three-session Zoom workshop in early June for high schoolers who want to get a jumpstart on their essays. If you’re interested in learning more, join the waitlist here: https://annie-brubaker-writing-consulting.kit.com/collegestudio